Love, Loss, and the Living Thread: Honoring Animals and the Journey of Grief

By PJ Valenciano Three years ago, I faced grief that swallowed me whole. I had lost beloved cats and spiraled into despair and depression. Back then, I didn’t have the tools, awareness, or groundedness I carry now. I only had the raw ache of absence, the heavy silence after their last breath, and the haunting questions: “Why them? Why now? Could I have done more?”

My world felt small and dark, as if grief itself had taken up residence inside me.

Now, years later, I continue to walk this path, encountering the heartbreak of losing animals in rapid succession, witnessing their struggle, and guiding their human guardians through the journey of grief. Recently, within days, 3 kittens, Angel & Khali succumbed to feline panleukopenia (FPV), including Keri, a big, beautiful black kitten of seven months. Keri, the last to go, fought bravely for his life. His journey illustrates both the fragility of life and the sacred role of caregivers.

Keri had been suddenly relocated along with other cats, and this abrupt displacement caused stress, compounded by a dormant FPV infection. He was under the loving care of Tita Menchie, who tirelessly cares for countless stray cats in Metro Manila, ensuring they are fed, nurtured, and loved. During his final days, Keri received medical support at the veterinary clinic, Reiki, and the attentive presence of those who loved him.

His passing and of the others including Khali, a local stray, is a reminder that every animal’s journey is part of a sacred soul contract. He fought. He chose. And he was deeply loved.

The Growth Between Then and Now 

The difference between my past grief and present grief is profound. Earlier, I spiraled into despair. Now, I hold grief as a living, breathing teacher. I allow the waves of sadness to move through me, honoring the love I feel for each animal and the lessons they leave behind. As I reflected on animals I have cared for, I whispered gratitude and love: “Thank you for your time with me. Thank you for your presence. I love you.” The human brain processes grief in stages: shock, denial, sadness, anger, and reflection, sometimes ruminating on the “what-ifs.” Understanding this process allows us to hold space for grief without being consumed by it. Recognizing grief as natural and healthy gives it form and allows for emotional integration.

Soul Contracts, Sacred Choices, and the Caregiver’s Heart

Every animal’s journey is guided by a soul contract, a sacred plan that shapes their life and passing. The brief time animals spend with us often carries lessons in presence, courage, and surrender.

For caregivers like Tita Menchie, who gives tirelessly to the strays of Metro Manila, each life entrusted to her care, whether brief or long, is an opportunity to witness love in action. Sudden relocations, illness, and the fragility of life can be heartbreaking, yet the steadfast love of the caregiver honors the animal’s path. Grief, while painful, becomes a gift and teacher, helping caregivers process loss and cultivate compassion without attachment to outcomes.

Lessons from Animals

Animals teach us lessons that go far beyond their physical lives. They show us courage in the face of illness, the beauty of living fully, and the grace of surrender. For their human companions, these lessons include:

• Love without attachment:  True love is supporting life without trying to control it.

• Presence over perfection:  Being fully present matters more than fixing outcomes.

• Ritual as healing:  Sacred acts honor life, support grieving hearts, and help integrate loss.

Keri’s journey illustrates these lessons, but they apply to all animals and all caregivers and pet guardians. Every creature we love leaves an imprint of courage, love, and presence that guides our growth.

Thích Nhất Hạnh and the Continuation of Life

In moments of loss, I return to the teachings of Thích Nhất Hạnh as shared by my good friend Chinna. He often spoke of clouds: when a cloud disappears, it does not die; it transforms. It becomes rain, snow, mist, or the water that fills your teacup. Life and death are continuations, not opposites.

He also shared the image of a tree shedding leaves in autumn. At first, it seems the leaves are lost. But they nourish the soil, return to the earth, and feed the roots. When spring arrives, new life emerges. Death is a transformation, not an ending.

The essence of each animal continues. Though their physical forms pass, the love, courage, and lessons they shared remain. They live on in memory, in the heart, and in the work we carry forward, whether through caregiving, advocacy, being a pet guardian, or supporting others through grief.

Abundance Hidden in Loss

Grief, while painful, can reveal abundance. The gifts of presence, unconditional love, and courage endure beyond the physical life of the animal. Each life leaves footprints in our hearts and shapes the work we do to support others in love and compassion.

Through grief, caregivers discover resilience, patience, and a deeper connection to life itself. Loss becomes a lantern, illuminating the path for others who walk alongside us in care and devotion.

The Living Thread

Love does not disappear. Bonds with animals are living threads woven through our lives, stitched into our hearts. Each animal we have loved, guided, or cared for, whether briefly or for years, leaves an enduring legacy.

We bow to these creatures, to grief as a sacred teacher, and to love that transcends form. Though their fight may end, their presence continues, and so does ours, carrying courage, love, and the threads of life they helped us weave.

The Gift of Loss: Supporting Others Through Grief 

One of the deepest lessons grief offers is the ability to hold space for others. The heartbreak of losing animals has taught me how to be present, compassionate, and grounded in moments of sorrow.

Through my own experiences, I now understand the emotional and spiritual journey caregivers and pet guardians face when their beloved animals pass. I can guide others with empathy, helping them navigate the stages of grief, integrate loss, and honor the sacred bond they share with their animals.

The gift of loss is not only in the lessons of love and impermanence but also in the capacity it gives us to serve others. Each sorrow becomes a doorway to deeper connection, wisdom, and healing, allowing us to transform personal grief into a shared source of support and guidance.

To honor the animals in your life and support others navigating pet loss, connect with me through Raise and Rise  on Facebook 

To learn more about how my journey has brought me to hold space for animals and their guardians during illness and transition, read my Reiki article: When Reiki Flows Between Two Hearts: Supporting Animals and Their Guardians